The Dichotomy of Control: How to Take Control of Your Life
At the beginning of freshman year, I was only focused on what could go wrong. What if my writing sucks? What if my partner’s love starts to fade? What if I don’t make any friends in college? These thoughts will then lead to actions which I will later regret. I would distract myself with mindless entertainment to avoid the uneasiness of sitting down with my thoughts. I was numbing myself and slowly getting fed up with my insecurities. I worry about the things that I cannot control. I worry about how people will perceive me when I post my first content online. I worry about my partner’s feelings towards me. As time passes, the more these sufferings take hold of me. The things that I cannot control, controlled me. There was a moment when I had to put down the phone, turn off the laptop and face the problem I had.
There are many things I learned from consulting Epictetus from his Enchidirion, Buddha from his non-attachment, and Fromm from his perspective of love.It’s because most of your suffering comes from your attachment to the things that aren’t within your control. By having this understanding, you can avoid the habits that aren’t contributing to your improvement as a person and pursue the things that are within your control. I don’t control your opinion about my writing. I don’t control the actions and thoughts of my partner or my colleagues. I only have to deal with myself and let others do their nature. I do me, they do they.
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