I’m Only As Sick As My Secrets

Photo by Chris Charles on Unsplash There’s a saying, mainly in AA groups, that we’re only as sick as our secrets. I find that to be true for those of us who fear being intimate with all that we are. When faced with the opportunity to be vulnerable, many of us will excuse ourselves and say, “No, thanks, I’ll stick to my emotional comfort zone, please.” Secrets have been my silent companions since childhood. They’re not pleasant to have around, because they feel like quiet tormentors of the soul or edges cutting into my spirit. Whilst the scars they leave behind may not be noticeable on the outside, they’re very much visible on the inside.About four years ago, I gathered some courage and started documenting some of these hidden skeletons here on Medium. I began writing about my traumas, my shadows, my struggles and insecurities. Some of the skeletons in the closet are gone for good, as I brought them out of the darkness and into the light. But some are still here, throwing peculiar parties, dancing with my shadows.Recently, I realized the price we pay for keeping secrets — isolation. Without even realizing it, secrets create emotional distance between us and those we hold dear, obscuring the light of genuine connection. Why? Because we expect others to accept us completely when we haven’t fully accepted ourselves either.

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